The Definition of Success

Earl Nightingale defined success as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal”.

My strategy for success as a human is directly tied to my ability to connect with three people.  I call this my “Critical Success Factors” (see it even has success in the name).  Whether it’s success as a Church Advisor, a planter of missional community, or running a marathon, I know I have to have a level 10 relationship with my wife Kristy, with my daughter Jordan, and with Jesus my Savior to truly be successful.  Reaching my goals at the cost of any of these relationships is my definition of failure.   The cool thing is, strengthening one of those relationships strengthens them all. 

For me that means connecting with each of them as regular as possible and I’ve realized doing that takes more than just being in their presence.

Connecting with an 8 year old

Right now this is easier than it might be in a few years because she’s in “daddy’s girl mode”.   Jordan and I have a date just about every Saturday morning, and nothing gets on my schedule that trumps that time.  I go with her where she likes to go.  We connect about things that are on her mind, and I try to answer questions that she has and relate them back to things God has taught me over the years.  Right now I’m trying to learn to lead her with good questions versus giving her advice.

Connecting with my wife Kristy

My relationship with God is directly proportionate with my relationship with Kristy.  He often speaks to me and leads me through her words.  Connecting at this stage of life can be hard, and for a long time I think we both felt as if we had to have a date planned to get out of the house and connect.  We still do that, but one of the daily habits I track is… did we connect?  I’m finding that it’s fairly simple to do if I just put everything aside for a few moments and focus.  My friend John Woodall gave me these three questions that I want to ask more often…

1. What are you thinking?
2. How are you feeling?
3. What do you want to do?
4. Bonus question, “What would make this day a 10 for you?”

Connecting with Jesus

I think there is quite a bit of value in determining how you connect with Jesus. 

For me to feel connected I have to slow down.  I need to:

1. Make sure I’ve planned enough time. 
2. Be still and hear the big questions God has put on my heart.
3. Be careful of my agenda.  God rarely answers the questions I’m asking Him, but more often asks me better questions about other things.
4. Great music helps… but nothing with words.   

Do you know what your Critical Success Factors are?

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